bowlinger qua bowlinger

SECTION 5. THE DEFENDANT’S “CON-
STITUTIONALLY GUARANTEED AC-
CESS TO EVIDENCE”

(in Kamisar’s Advanced Criminal Procedure, p 1270)

So, maybe you’re like me. You’re more of a night owl than an early riser, and maybe you’d like to work in a fast-paced courtroom environment where the cases are just not that serious and the judges are frustrated stage magicians. Maybe you’re also like me and you want to wear a cardigan and a knit tie to work every night. If so, I have a lead on where to apply for clerkships.

Here’s the National Center for State Courts’ list of night courts.

rougerouge on Flickr

Of interest is a recent appeals court decision in Wisconsin v. Hathaway. Here’s the opinion.

The appeals court ruled that by pleading out at the trial court level, he failed to preserve his appeal on the live/dead animal issue. I was worried about this kind of thing at the time, but a guilty plea was probably in the best interests of the defendant.

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From Charles Dickens, Bleak House (1853):

[A copyist at the Court of Chancery has died of an opium overdose, and the coroner is conducting the inquest. There is testimony that the decedent was only ever seen talking to the boy who sweeps up.]

Says the coroner, is that boy here? Says the beadle, no, sir, he is not here. Says the coroner, go and fetch him then. In the absence of the active and intelligent, the coroner converses with Mr. Tulkinghorn.

Oh! Here’s the boy, gentlemen!

Here he is, very muddy, very hoarse, very ragged. Now, boy! But stop a minute. Caution. This boy must be put through a few preliminary paces.

Name, Jo. Nothing else that he knows on. Don’t know that everybody has two names. Never heerd of sich a think. Don’t know that Jo is short for a longer name. Thinks it long enough for HIM. HE don’t find no fault with it. Spell it? No. HE can’t spell it. No father, no mother, no friends. Never been to school. What’s home? Knows a broom’s a broom, and knows it’s wicked to tell a lie. Don’t recollect who told him about the broom or about the lie, but knows both. Can’t exactly say what’ll be done to him arter he’s dead if he tells a lie to the gentlemen here, but believes it’ll be something wery bad to punish him, and serve him right—and so he’ll tell the truth.

“This won’t do, gentlemen!” says the coroner with a melancholy shake of the head.

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Doing some research on Bell v. Southwell, 376 F.2d 659 (5th Cir. 1967), I came across this:

CUTHBERT — Clara Etta Avery Dunlap Massey Taylor, 86, of Cuthbert died January 4, 2008, at Phoebe Putney Memorial Hospital.

Funeral services will be conducted Monday at 11 a.m. at Cuthbert First Baptist Church with interment at 3 p.m. in Thomasville City Cemetery in Thomasville, GA with Rev. Houston Perry of Americus officiating.

Mrs. Taylor was born January 22, 1921, in Iron City, GA, the daughter of the late Benjamin Franklin and Mary Lipham Avery of Thomasville. She graduated from Thomasville High School in 1939. She was Probate Judge in Randolph County filling the unexpired term of her late husband, W.B. Taylor. She also served as Probate Judge in Webster County filling the unexpired term of her late husband, Carl O. Massey. She was also preceded in death by her first husband, Aubrey Paul Dunlap of Thomasville.

In Corpse Episode, Echoes of a Grittier Time

charged with: attempted forgery, attempted possession of a forged instrument and petty larceny.

Interestingly, according to section 170.35 of the New York Penal Code, you can’t be convicted of both “criminal possession of a forged instrument and forgery with respect to the same instrument”. I wonder if that applies to attempt as well.

Why, oh why, can’t this have happened when I was in either Criminal Law or Secured Transactions?

So, there’s an amazing article you should read in the Michigan Daily. dm’s certainly aware, as are we all, of the pathetic state of Thai food in the Ann Arbor area. I had some masaman curry yesterday that cost close to $15. FIFTEEN DOLLARS  (?!?!) for extremely mediocre curry served in the restaurant portion of a nearly-abandoned hotel out by the highway.

Anyway, maybe part of the difficulty Thai places are having in Washtenaw county is related to issues like these:

Rackham student Sirarat Sarntivijai said she was confused and offended when a restaurant called No Thai! opened on South University Avenue in September 2005. She thought the name suggested that Thai people were not welcome in the restaurant.

Members of the Thai Student Association, including Sarntivijai, its president, said they find the name deeply offensive.

I could go into a lot of the details of the article, but the gist is that the Thai Student Association thinks that the (admittedly stupid) name of a Thai-owned Thai restaurant signals that Thai people are discouraged from eating there. The TSA helpfully suggested some (even more insipid) names for the place, including “No Thai!: by Mr. No”.

As long as we’re suggesting bad names for a crypto-racist Thai restaurant, how about “White Thai” or “Black Thai” (depending on how formal the table service is), or maybe “Colombian Neck Thai” (for the forthcoming Latin-Thai fusion endeavor).

Teenagers and dead deer: a winning combination!

Dead deer prank riles students at rival high school

Dead doe is put inside Comfort Deer bus

Follow up questions:

a) What kind of a high school mascot is a “Comfort Deer”?

b) Football, sure, cheerleading maybe. But since when did Texans take high school girls volleyball so seriously?

c) What’s the crime here? Anyone want to hunt through the Texas Criminal Code for an applicable offense?

Sorry for failing to update everyone on last week’s bowling action. With a couple of starters missing, due to circumstances, we showed our depth by fielding an all-female team. The Lady Bowlingers competed like a estrogen-fueled juggernaut, rolling over the Crocodiles (former league champions), who were rolling at half-strength.

This week, we’re back to our semi-normal line-up. I anticipate the presence of cupcakes, potentially containing some form of adult beverage.

… is Posner’s recent opinion in Cavel International, Inc v. Lisa Madigan. Posner reluctantly upheld Illinois’ recent law banning the slaughter of horses for human food purposes.

Some highlights to look forward to: (1) the picture of the lion eating a birthday cake on page 11, (2) Bo Derek on page 14.

PDF opinion here.