bowlinger qua bowlinger

I think it’s all the driving up Hwy 23 I’ve been doing lately, but I really have a craving for chicken.

Anyone want to take a road trip this weekend? If so, any preferences? I vote for the “chicken plus one meat” combination, but would be willing to consider the “Family-Style Ultimate Bavarian Combination” for just $2 more.

I think this guy’s story would have been more convincing if he was found in a city or country where the helpful creatures reside in large numbers. Not that Cincinnati isn’t known for being full of magical creatures.  I just thought it was more famous for its chili.

If you are going to commit a crime, do it big and make sure you can throw one hell of a party afterwards.

Someone I worked with last spring pointed out a co-worker’s striking resemblance to a certain Star Wars character. At the time it was such a funny comparison that it haunted me where ever I went, including the post office.

Anyway, I was checking on the website for this season’s schedule and cracked up again - he’s at the top. Guess who he reminds me of and you win a prize.

Disclaimer: I don’t have any prizes - sorry.

1. Can opener. This is a real drag when you want to make white bean salad for supper.
2. Toilet. I like having original fixtures in my bathroom, but the water in A2 is so bad that it finally ate the metal hook thingy that attaches the lever to the black rubber thingy.
3. Plant-tending abilities. Two of Pat’s plants died from the inside-out today - not the whole plant, but one stem from each. I am a bit concerned since I am tending to the plants for another month and I’d like to have something besides pots of dirt to return to him.
4. My will. This is maybe more complicated.

Last night I visited my old neighborhood for the first time since I left Chicago. It was weird. Lots of things changed - buildings disappeared (torn down for new development I suppose), a few new bars opened up, and a place selling gifts and handmade soap stood on the corner where I used to wait for the bus.

Some things remained the same, though. The shoe store catering to Ukrainian and Polish residents displays a bizarre stock of footwear ranging from streetwalker-chic to gardening-grandma. A garage (and place where homeless people sell palates at all hours of the day) advertises a “Breaks Job” as one of its signature services. Jukin’ Pizza (slogan: “We’re off the Heezy for the Cheezy”) has yet to open for business. 6-packs of High Life in 16oz cans cost $5. And the clerks at CVS say things like “Geez - that smells like ass!” and “You lock my keys in there, I’ll be using your head for a doorstop!” while customers wait to buy their Friday night booze.

Sorry for another law related post, but I think I have determined where I am bidding. Military law sounds awesome, and it would give me an excuse to get back to NoDak for some delicious elk meat.

1. I love how the new version of Firefox spell checks for you. This is quite nearly my dream come true.
2. RDA = Reference Desk Assistant = higher hourly wage for surfing the internet than for the “important, real world” work I do during the day.
3. Why don’t summer starters realize that I will not under any circumstances do their citations for them? Also, if you are doing a legal practice assignment, you might want to bring your bluebook. Just saying.
4. Do people really think it is appropriate to talk on their cell phones in a library? I told three people to turn the damn thing off in the span of two hours.
5. Also, no freaking kids allowed in the library! And I don’t know if there is a professor here that specializes in Mexican law and I don’t know how to find out - I am trying to determine where I am going to live two years from now, so go away!
6. Right now, the building services crew is taking down the Reading Room’s chandeliers - some sort of annual maintenance. I wish I could watch, but I am stuck behind a desk answering questions for idiots.
7. I utilized Firefox’s spell checker twice in that last sentence.
8. Seriously, the next person that comes in here with a child or a cell phone is going to get the stink eye from yours truly.
9. Summer in A2 has turned me into some sort of raving mad harpy. But if this is true, I am well on my way to becoming a true townie.

Apologies for the law school-laden post. I spend ten to twelve hours here on Mondays between the two jobs. Sometimes it messes with my brain.

…the area code is 701.

I was home for about a week not so long ago. I really wished I had a camera so I could do a visual posting about Minot, ND. But I don’t have a camera so I am just going to describe a few of my favorite sights from home.

1. The “ELK MEAT” sign:

In my opinion, this sign is the most amusing thing in Minot. It’s a big and blue with a majestic-looking elk head on it. Below is the phone number you call to get the meat. This is really as straightforward and simple as a sign could be. The weird thing is its location. You’d expect such a sign on the edge of town, but this one is right across the street from the high school in a used car lot. The only building on the lot is seemingly for the car dealership, but the “ELK MEAT” sign indicates that perhaps the structure has multiple purposes. I guess it’s more likely that someone at the dealership runs a meat processing business on the side and uses the space for advertising, but I’ve never called the number so I’ll likely never know. I don’t really want to know either - the enigma only adds to the sign’s charm. My brother has a picture of this somewhere; I’ve asked him to send it to me so readers can experience the “ELK MEAT” sign in its full glory.

2. Anything to do with trains

Minot is a railroad town so there are trains going through at all hours of the day. My favorite thing about the trains is the accompanying infrastructure like viaducts, old wooden pedestrian walkways over the tracks, and a huge trestle bridge just outside of town (sorry, this was the only picture I could find of it - you’ll have to use your imagination to remove the guy in front). The trains are sometimes covered with nice graffiti, too. During this trip, I saw a train where every single box car was tagged; at one point there was a mural that stretched between two adjacent cars.

3. The Scandinavian Heritage Center

I can’t remember when the town started really developing this park. Once upon a time there was just a small A-frame hut that served as Minot’s tourist information center; now the place is landscaped and loaded with attractions. The park includes a replica of a Norwegian Gol Stave church, a big Swedish Horse, and statues of famous people. The Hans Christian Andersen statue is my favorite. I wonder if the powers that be realized they included a gay vegetarian in their park.

4. Various signs saying “GUNS” with an arrow

There is a really nice one by my parents’ new place - huge red letters and an arrow pointing right to the store’s door. No misleading advertising there.