bowlinger qua bowlinger

Appellant transferred an automobile to appellee in exchange for her promise to pay him $100 and a specified number of sexual favors. In his complaint, appellant alleges breach of contract and asks for money damages. The justice of the peace court dismissed the action, ruling that the contract was illegal and unenforceable. The district court affirmed the dismissal. The issue is whether or not appellant is entitled to any relief under the contract.We will affirm.

The essence of the agreement between the parties was that appellant would transfer a 1970 Pontiac automobile to appellee in consideration for her paying $100 and additionally bestowing upon him 100 sexual favors. The agreement was in writing and undated. It contained some ambiguous and unfamiliar terms which were sufficiently clarified at trial. Appellant brought an action against appellee in the small claims court and in his complaint alleged breach of contract and demanded money damages.

The uncontroverted testimony at trial was that appellee had not paid the $100 and had only partially otherwise performed. The agreement provided that appellee would get the car when she had performed 50 sexual acts; however, for some reason not disclosed, there was a premature transfer of the automobile.

Hamburg v. Hansen, 683 P.2d 662 (Wyo. 1984)

Turns out that contracts like this are void for being against public policy. At least in Wyoming.

From Charles Dickens, Bleak House (1853):

[A copyist at the Court of Chancery has died of an opium overdose, and the coroner is conducting the inquest. There is testimony that the decedent was only ever seen talking to the boy who sweeps up.]

Says the coroner, is that boy here? Says the beadle, no, sir, he is not here. Says the coroner, go and fetch him then. In the absence of the active and intelligent, the coroner converses with Mr. Tulkinghorn.

Oh! Here’s the boy, gentlemen!

Here he is, very muddy, very hoarse, very ragged. Now, boy! But stop a minute. Caution. This boy must be put through a few preliminary paces.

Name, Jo. Nothing else that he knows on. Don’t know that everybody has two names. Never heerd of sich a think. Don’t know that Jo is short for a longer name. Thinks it long enough for HIM. HE don’t find no fault with it. Spell it? No. HE can’t spell it. No father, no mother, no friends. Never been to school. What’s home? Knows a broom’s a broom, and knows it’s wicked to tell a lie. Don’t recollect who told him about the broom or about the lie, but knows both. Can’t exactly say what’ll be done to him arter he’s dead if he tells a lie to the gentlemen here, but believes it’ll be something wery bad to punish him, and serve him right—and so he’ll tell the truth.

“This won’t do, gentlemen!” says the coroner with a melancholy shake of the head.

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my dear pastor smackdown fans, it is with a heavy heart that i inform you that my dream of visiting Fiesta Mexicana on Cross Street in Ypsilanti and reporting back to you on it today was dashed by the misfortunate event of the restaurant being closed on mondays.

undaunted, i deftly switched cultures and hemispheres and went to Dalat Vietnamese Cuisine on Michigan and had the beef noodle soup(you may know this soup to be called pho). it was good. not Pho 777 in Chicago good, or Pho Pasteur in Boston good, but for the middle of stinkin’ Michigan, i’d say it hit the spot.

i’d give it better marks if it had come with a better assortment of condiments.

here’s what you get at Dalat: a bowl of noodle soup with sliced beef(you can also order it with meatballs or tendons or tripe), a dish of condiments including a wedge of lemon, bean sprouts, and sliced jalapeños. there are squeeze bottles of hoisin sauce and chili sauce on the table.

i’m partial to having basil in my pho, so i would give Dalat higher marks if my little side dish had included basil.

i also got a vietnamese iced coffee. the total came to $8.70 before tip. god bless ypsilanti.

of course, now i’m tempted to go try Miss Saigon on Stone School road tomorrow for a proper pho smackdown… unless of course popular opinion merits a re-visit to Fiesta Mexicana and a continuation of the pastor smackdown ASAP.

let me know, dear readers. let. me. know.

i shall do your bidding.

update:
Fiesta Mexicana Hours : 4-9 p.m. Mon., 11 a.m.-9 p.m. Tue.-Thu., 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Fri.-Sat.

While conducting research on trademark law for a project at work, I came upon a case that discussed “Kiss Proof” cosmetic products. I laughed out loud when the majority remarked, “We assume that ‘Kiss Proof’ means that a kiss will not disturb a woman’s lipstick, not that she will not be kissed.” Cosmetically Sealed Indus. Inc. v. Chesebrough-Pond’s USA Co., 43 U.S.P.Q.2d 1956, 1958 n.2 (2d Cir. 1997).

I should be working on my memo, but while reading this complaint, I came across a line that actually made me laugh out-loud. Unfortunately I can’t put the whole complaint for everyone to see, but…

62. In response to her complaint, Mr. M_____ denied the entire incident as Ms. B_____ complained but admitted the erection and was placed on a 2-day unpaid leave.