bowlinger qua bowlinger

This lack of substantive distinction is more clearly seen in the light of the following hypothetical situation. Assuming, for instance, that an individual stops at a neighborhood tavern to purchase a six-pack of beer to take out and, while there, also decides to purchase a 12-ounce bottle of beer to drink at the bar. Under the provisions of the ordinance before us, when he receives his total bill, he will be charged no tax for the six cans of beer but will be required to pay 6 cents tax for the bottle of beer.

North Sheffield, Inc. v. Chicago, 144 Ill. App. 3d 913, 919-920 (Ill. App. Ct. 1st Dist. 1986)

“No sense at all. No sense at all. Like I say, it’s just a criminal mind”
- Cheatham County Sheriff John Holder

From MSNBC. First the hilarious parts of the story:

ASHLAND CITY, Tenn. - Police said someone frustrated at gas prices left a dead deer and a sign at a Cheatham County gas station.

Rising gas prices are weighing heavily on everyone, and Moe Patel said he does his best to keep matters light with his customers.

It was at Patel’s station last week that Patel’s wife found a dead pregnant deer with a note attached to it that said, “Lower gas prices. Humans are taking it out on us.”

“My wife and I, we’re both dumbfounded. It doesn’t make sense,” Patel said.

“They have a right to be frustrated,” Patel said.

Patel said he understands the anger but said that people should aim higher with their complaints because sinking to the level of killing an innocent animal doesn’t help anyone.

“My and my wife run this small business. If they really want to make a change and give a message, you know, for example, take it in front of the White House lawn. If you have problem with the gas prices, do something about it. What am I going to do about it? I can’t do anything about it, you know. I’m just the messenger,” he said.

Now the legal aspects:

Detectives and officials with the Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency are investigating who killed and dumped the deer and why.

Whoever is responsible could face animal cruelty charges, police said.

Officials said it is possible that the deer could be road kill because they haven’t determined the cause of its death. A report said only that the deer had trauma to the back part of its body.

Holder said however it died, tying it up and moving it to the gas station was the act of more than one person.

Cruelty to animals in Tennessee is TN Code 39-14-202. (a)(1) is “torture” and (a)(3) is unreasonable abandonment. I don’t think either of these apply, even if the deer were killed just for the protest. 39-14-212, “aggravated cruelty to animals” only applies to “companion animals,” i.e. pets. Not sure if abuse of an animal corpse would fit into this section. I’d search the case law, but I’m afraid to do so with my work Westlaw account.

I do think there’s a clear violation of 70-4-116(d)(1) - killing or posessing a deer without properly tagging the animal.

While I was poking around in the Tennessee Criminal Code, I checked out the “no-sex-with-animals” statute. It is 39-14-219, which not only criminalizes (a)(1) - engaging in “any sexual activity with an animal,” but also (a)(2) - causing, aiding or abetting it. And even (a)(3) - permitting it “to be conducted on any premises under the person’s charge or control”. Naturally, there had to be an exception (d) - for “accepted animal husbandry practices”.

I’m not sure “husbandry” would be the word I would have chosen.

So, there’s an update in the case of the two guys who wheeled their dead buddy down to the currency exchange in an office chair, hoping to cash his disability check. They’re going free!

The prosecutor acknowledged Tuesday that it cannot be proven beyond a reasonable doubt when the man actually died, making it difficult to bring a case against the men. Manhattan Criminal Court Judge Evelyn LaPorte agreed and dismissed the charges.

Also, Senate Bill 247 in Wisconsin failed to pass this year. Having sex with (human) corpses is still legal in Wisconsin, so long as you didn’t participate in the death.

The radical, bowling-oriented splinter wing of Gutter v. Bowlinger finished the season last week. Though we took home no trophies, we stood our ground until the bitter end, and beyond. Did it resemble the Battle of Thermopylae? Yes.

So, the semester has ground to a close, and the Bowlingers are about to fling themselves centrifugally across the country and the world. But first, finals. And the disturbing transpirations of May Day. Next fall, the diaspora will continue, but every successful plan for world domination begins that way.

Good Luck, and God Speed, Bowlingerians.

These two are about to get it on, aren’t they?  It’s not just in my mind?

SECTION 5. THE DEFENDANT’S “CON-
STITUTIONALLY GUARANTEED AC-
CESS TO EVIDENCE”

(in Kamisar’s Advanced Criminal Procedure, p 1270)

I apologize for my discontinuation of posts about food and the law. I will go back and update soon, especially what we had to eat. But right now I need some help! This week is the last meeting of food and the law, unless we can come up with some other topics for OB-S. I already sent him the Posner opinion about the horse meat, which he never responded to. What are some other food and the law issues? We’ve done taxing fat, tort liability, bio-engineered food, the problem with corn, and now we’re doing packaging and labeling. If you can  help suggest something and he agrees, I will try to get you into the meeting. Is that good incentive?

So, maybe you’re like me. You’re more of a night owl than an early riser, and maybe you’d like to work in a fast-paced courtroom environment where the cases are just not that serious and the judges are frustrated stage magicians. Maybe you’re also like me and you want to wear a cardigan and a knit tie to work every night. If so, I have a lead on where to apply for clerkships.

Here’s the National Center for State Courts’ list of night courts.

rougerouge on Flickr

Of interest is a recent appeals court decision in Wisconsin v. Hathaway. Here’s the opinion.

The appeals court ruled that by pleading out at the trial court level, he failed to preserve his appeal on the live/dead animal issue. I was worried about this kind of thing at the time, but a guilty plea was probably in the best interests of the defendant.

Read the rest of this entry »

I think it’s all the driving up Hwy 23 I’ve been doing lately, but I really have a craving for chicken.

Anyone want to take a road trip this weekend? If so, any preferences? I vote for the “chicken plus one meat” combination, but would be willing to consider the “Family-Style Ultimate Bavarian Combination” for just $2 more.